One of deepest feelings of the human is “longing to belong.” Ancient peoples knew that a human learns this during the first forty days of life. A cozy and relaxed environment, where the mother is nurtured so she can nurture her child, enhances the bonding between child, the mother, the father, and the siblings. In this tranquil home, the stage is set and the child cultivates the ability to love, care for others, trust, and security.

Without close bonding and loving care after birth, the child learns that life cannot be trusted. He learns human coldness and a lack of empathy for other’s pain and needs. With loneliness in the heart, later this child will lash out with anger, trying out various painful isolating behaviors. Or perhaps he will have vague haunting feelings that he has missed out and be challenged to show others his intimate feelings.

A nation is based on the concept of the child in the first forty days. Let those days be peaceful so that his or her life may be based on peace, then peace may begin to reign on this planet.”
~ Yogi Bhajan

When the child was in your womb, the mother and child shared physical functions, as well as subtle energies. They were blended into one energy field and one body. When the navel cord was detached, the separation was initiated. This separation has a profound impact on the psyche and can be a shock for both. Mothers often share that they “feel that they have no skin,” or are extremely sensitive.

Journey from Woman to Mother
In many cultures around the world, the sensitive nature of the new mother and the infant is respected, and they are protected in a supported, sacred environment with only their intimate family.  Women are given the privilege and support to slowly and respectfully recover from the intense physical experience of birthing, and the deep psychological transformation from woman to mother.

Mothers are honored with 40 days to recuperate herself, develop a loving relationship with their newborn, and create a rhythm of breastfeeding, personal care and a new family dynamics. She relaxes in the cozy, comforts of her home, building up her strength with pampering massage, special healing and rejuvenating foods and beverages, and light stretching exercises. Quiet time relaxing in bed with the new born, the father and the siblings, enjoying the hugs, kisses, smiles and laughs together.  Watching the miracle of the newborn discovering himself and those around, each moment precious and monumental.  

Environment
The background environment of shopping, cooking, laundry, and cleaning is covered by others. Someone cares for the other children: school transportation, homework, and outside activities. Today many communities have the good fortune to have supportive and well trained post-partum doulas who support mothers and assist families to create that sacred atmosphere.

The environment and atmosphere is relaxing, and uplifting: perhaps gentle meditative music. (better to keep the TV off). This is a gentle time, a time to step out of the hectic rush, and step into the simplicity of the miracle of life and the family. Visits from guests or phone conversations are minimal. Short connects with relatives can be supportive, however, avoid becoming fatigued by well-meaning guest and phone calls.

"He was inside where he was warm, cozy, and well contained. He came out and now he needs that touch, that feeling, that oneness within the nine feet of your aura. You are a modern woman. You want to go to a movie theater. When a child is born, you must stick with him for forty days and for two years you and your husband must keep him near the, breast and the chest. That the most darling God born in innocence to two people who believed in love."
~ Yogi Bhajan

How is it possible today?
In order to make The Blessing of 40 Days a reality, arrange details while pregnant. If you do not have a relative or a close friend who can assist you, look for a post-partum doula. Whatever the situation, organize for assistance well in advance.

These days, mothers have no time. That’s why we want to have those forty days after the birth of a child. We are not giving a punishment. We are asking that for those forty days the mother and child be together so that the creativity can be established; values can be established. From the 120th day in the womb to the 40th day out, the entire character and the values of the child are built. Later on is paraphernalia. There is a basic character created. You can harden the wood, but you can never make it steel. You can polish the gold, but you cannot make it hard like steel.  These two things are different.

In the human caliber, try to understand the role of the woman and how the woman can grow. How does your egg grow? Your egg sat on the bed of your own blood. Right? And it totally absorbed in it a spermatozoon.  Then the life started. As a human being, how can it be different? I don’t care if you’re American or Chinese.  If that is the fundamental law, how can it be different now?

What is pregnancy? It’s a fulfillment. It’s an initial fulfillment to motherhood. What is a delivery? The start of the duties. Where is the end? The hereafter. What is the hereafter? The term of Infinity."
~ Yogi Bhajan